Making a Pinto point about a Lexus topic

The culmination of Perry Noble’s much-hyped sex sermon was a multi-part questionnaire that married couples were asked to take home and ask each other. The first question was, “Have you had sex with anyone besides me since we have been married?” (A quick aside. How many marriage counselors did NewSpring hire to have on call that afternoon and evening? Talk about life change…)

Noble interrupted the list of questions to publicly announce to his wife that the answer was no. Then he said to her, “I don’t need a Pinto when I have a Lexus.”

It’s encouraging that he thinks so highly of his wife’s appearance, but the statement–repeated in multiple services–undoes whatever biblical teaching he’d presented earlier in the service. Marriage is based on a covenant promise that is a symbol of Christ’s covenant with us. It’s not based on anything we do or on how we look.

If Noble explains his faithfulness by his wife’s Lexus status, what happens if she loses that status? New model years come out. Perhaps the engine stops running or one of the tires blows out. A few nicks and dings, a few more miles on the speedometer, a bit of hard driving, and even Lexuses can start to look unappealing. (This is not about Mrs. Noble, by the way; I do not doubt Perry’s claims for her beauty, nor the sincerity of his praise for her.)

A few Lexus-quality questions to ponder:

1. Is this a good example for other husbands? How do you persuade someone to stay faithful once they realize they’ve married a Pinto? Rephrase the question, and you see why it’s so bad. “Honey, why would I have a Lexus when I get to have a Pinto?” Hosea married a Pinto, yet he loved and overpaid for Gomer as if she were a Lexus. (Hosea 2:14-20)
2. Does this build confidence in women? Perhaps our lady commentators can answer this more authoritatively, but I would imagine that this rationale could create a great deal of personal insecurity. “Honey, so long as you keep looking like a Lexus, I won’t stray on you.” Where’s the rest and trust based on the assumption that promises will be kept at all costs?
3. Is a wife a thing to be owned and used? This idea that women are assets to be used is often what leads to the problems Noble’s sermon was complaining about. Ask Noble’s friend how that attitude worked for him.
4. Where’s the love? Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. How does he love the church? While we were yet Pintos, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Look who’s coming back

Gary Lamb has been hinting for a while that he wants to start another church, and an alert reader noticed that perhaps the first step in his rehabilitation occured a few weeks ago, on the same day that Noble was preaching a sex sermon inspired by Lamb’s own failure.

The church that welcomed Lamb back on stage was Life Church in Rome, Georgia. The church’s corporate twitter thought it was worth trumpeting:

Had @garylamb sharing his story today.

The church’s music minister added a few more emotions:

Great morning @lifechurchrome, @garylamb shared his story, confessed sins, showed brokenness, and lives were changed fo the kingdom of God!

We thought you’d like to know.

Oh, Lamb’s host church is about to do a “Porn Sunday” and has been posting porn ads on Facebook. As some of you may remember, these were the same kind of topics that Lamb’s church was doing when he was getting into trouble. Here’s some of their chatter:

just posted a porn ad on facebook for @lifechurchrome whole nutha level

YEs @lifechurchrome seen salvations again today and our porn ad is working thats right i said porn ad. 7 more days until we attack that

our local alcohol commision turned down girls gone wild but @lifechurchrome is going through with porn sunday, yeah come on

Like a dog returns to its vomit…

Gary Lamb resigns

Gary Lamb announced that he’s resigning from pastoring Revolution Church in GA because he has been having an affair with his married personal assistant, Elena, for the last six weeks.

Ten months ago, she and her husband caught his eye.

Speaking of the next generation of world changers…..We have a very cool young couple who have been attending Revolution for a while now. Kyle and Elena Stoeckig have been in ministry at some pretty cool churches in the past and God has them hanging out in Canton for a while as they get ready for the next leg. They are praying about starting a church in downtown Atlanta and I’m praying God keeps them around Canton for a while longer. Pray for them as they seek God will for their next steps!

Seven weeks ago, Lamb chronicled a bit of a staff reshuffle in his church. From April 19:

Elena Stoeckig who is on our staff is going to be assisting in my office. She’s great at what she does, I trust her, and she has thick skin to put up with me.

Crap, I’ll probably steal her from Tim permanently. There aren’t many advantages to being the pastor, but there are some.

Then six weeks ago, he moved in:

I have officially stolen Elena from Tim as my new assistant….

I think she is going to do a great job. She’s very sharp, pretty tough, and has a heart for ministry.

Narcissism bites.

(If anyone ever sees an apology to, or request for prayer for, Elena or Kyle Stoeckig from Lamb, direct us to it in the comments.)