Funny ← Pajama Pages

Having fun with the Furtick vision translator

Nov

18

2009

Since Steven Furtick has discovered that visions and delusions are difficult to tell apart, let’s revisit some of his earlier teachings, this time substituting delusion for vision. Sometimes God plants a delusion in your heart so outrageous that you need to keep it to yourself for a while. Understanding and passing the delusion down from ...

A priceless pair of proclamations from Perry’s preaching

Nov

9

2009

Perry Noble last week: My prayer for this series is that singles will view being single NOT as a sickness, but rather as a season that needs to be embraced in order to learn all that God desires to teach them. Perry Noble this week: We started to hand two marbles out to every single ...

Furtick gives relationship advice

Oct

30

2009

Steven Furtick released this highlight of his recent Impart conference where he downloads his wisdom to pastors and church staffers. Pajama Pages is happy to provide a translation for you: I’ve just made a decision in my life that no one human being will take the seat of the throne of lordship in my life, ...

The new confessional preaching

Oct

21

2009

A few years ago, “confessional preaching” would have had people assuming you were talking about pastors who promoted and adhered to the great confessions and creeds of the faith. Nowadays, you’re just as likely to find preachers who confess to their embarrassing physical ailments or sinful urges. A helpful reader sent me this article about ...

Speaking of Nit-picking

Oct

6

2009

A ministry simile for resource challenges: I was horrible at math in middle school. But I was pretty good at similes. Remember those? Yellow is to sun as ____ is to moon Guns n Roses is to best band ever as Tiger Woods is to ____ God is to Satan as dogs are to ____ ...

Concerned for Cooper

Sep

10

2009

Rough days lie ahead for our NewSpring friend. He tweets: We become what we BEHOLD. Period. So what has he been beholding lately? From Cooper’s Twitpic: Oh dear.

Bad advice for Balaam

Aug

28

2009

It’s a good thing Balaam’s donkey didn’t have access to Furtick’s tweeted wisdom. If you’re STUCK-mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally-remember: the only way OUT is THROUGH. Keep pushing… Isn’t reverse often the best option?

I have a question for Guy Kawasaki

Apr

24

2009

Guy Kawasaki has asked the leaders at Catalyst WC how they describe their church. Are there two or three words that can define your church? Does BAMF count as one or four words?

This is why I must stop reading Twitter

Apr

16

2009

And when people say the word “Satan” they are actually saying “Santa,” which means we can play Highway to Hell again for Christmas!

File under “Humility”

Apr

16

2009