Translating leadership talk (Virginia edition) 7

Once again, the translation department of Pajama Pages offers this service for the benefit of our readers. A translation of Noble’s leadership talk at Innovate on Tuesday:

  • picture-12If you are a pastor in the South, you have to be strapped [own a gun]. BCoop is on the fast track to greatness!!!
  • I didn’t say ”˜What is it that the deacons or the bloggers want to do in my church?’ Of course I don’t listen to them; this whole experiment is a conversation.
  • You gotta’ be stupid to plant a church. Seriously. If you understand this, you understand me.
  • God used unschooled, ordinary men to change the world. Paul who? Luke did what?
  • People say, ”˜The music is too loud.’ Well, you’re going to hate Heaven. That’s why we play Highway to Hell. You’ll love it there.
  • If it’s God’s will, it’s God’s bill. That’s what I told the waiter at Sullivan’s yesterday, too, but I don’t think he’s a Christ follower.
  • Most churches stick their kids and students in the basement with a woman that knew Moses. It’s just as well, because the stupid church planter wasn’t teaching them much.
  • I thought the food fight in the grave yard was a great idea. That’s why they kicked me out of cemetery before I could graduate.
  • Here’s how you know you’ve got a vision from God: It makes people mad. God told me I should marry your wife. Hah!
  • Christians are the meanest people in the world. Especially the Reformed ones! They’re even worse than Nazis and conservative Republicans.
  • Don’t change things just to change things. You’re better off changing things to keep them the same.
  • We yell at lost people for acting like lost people. Though my wife hates it when I yell at her while she’s driving. What can I say? I’m working on it.
  • Because I haven’t forgotten what it feels like to be lost. Now, can someone help me find the closest Cracker Barrel? I’m really, really hungry.

7 thoughts on “Translating leadership talk (Virginia edition)

  1. Twit May 21, 2009 12:37 am

    That post was almost funny enough to be ghost written by TommyF. *Almost*

    I just don’t get Ace’s comment as quoted by Tony Morgan: 8:00 PM tonymorganlive – “What is it that God wants to do in my church?”

    MY church? Seriously Ace, YOUR church? I guess if it’s YOUR BAMF church you can do whatever the hell you want to do in it and are probably left guessing at what involvement God wants to have in it. Of course, if its God’s church and not yours, then you’d have to play by his rules and discern from the Bible what he wants to do with his church and how it ought look, operate and worship him.

    Hey NS’ers – riddle me this: Whose church is it? Ace’s or God’s?

  2. Seth May 21, 2009 2:32 am

    It’s Gods church. But how many times have you called the church you attend ‘your church’? It’s not yours, its Gods also. In referencing it as his church he is refering to the church he pastors. Everything is Gods though. So really, you don’t own a thing. I don’t own a thing, everything is God.

    Also, I might not agree with everything posted above, I do have a sense of humor and I found a few of those pretty funny, and I think Perry would too.

  3. Tommy F. May 21, 2009 10:06 am

    Twit: thanks.

  4. James Duncan May 21, 2009 10:08 am

    Twit: Waddya mean “almost”?

  5. Tommy F. May 21, 2009 12:06 pm

    JDuncan:

    Almost: not quite, very nearly.

    He means that I am funnier than you.

    I think that’s pretty funny, myself.

  6. Twit May 23, 2009 2:18 am

    @Seth – apologies for taking so long to respond.

    Actually, you picked me correctly – occasionally I do refer to the church that I go to as ‘my church’. But from church leaders I respect (me not being one of them), I hear – more often than not – that when they refer to the church they pastor it’s more along the lines of ‘what would God have me do at Bethlehem Baptist Church/Mars Hill/Highland Village’ not ‘what is it that God wants to do in my church’.

    The difference is subtle but godly.

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